"Helpful Hafners"

If you are tired of trying to modify your children's behavior by punishing, or removing of privileges, or time outs, or whatever, it is time to try something new.

This has been serving the Hafners well for a couple years, though we forget about it from time to time. We call it "Helpful Hafners."

We have little tickets that we write details when someone does something outstanding. This is for "above and beyond." Usually includes spontaneous kindness, or resolution of a problem, or something of that nature that parents want to see more of in their kids.

Tony made cute little tickets for us that say "{blank} helped {blank} by {blank}" and when we have 10 Helpful Hafners we go out for ice cream, and bring the tickets with us. While we are having our treat, each kid reads 2 of the notes. I bet the other customers enjoy the show.

What I really like is when a child does something nice, and then gets recognized by writing it down. For a child, there is some satisfaction in getting something on paper. Also, they get reminded of their good deed weeks later. All in all, a very positive way to go.

And, this was a pretty easy system, which is probably why it worked. Totally up to the judgement of parents what deserved to be a "Helpful Hafner."

Share the wisdom!

When the kids were little I spent a lot of time with other moms of small children. We would invariably discuss parenting, and what current "issues" were most problematic. Sometimes these were issues relating to multiples, but mostly parenting in general.

I was a connoisseur of new parenting techniques; always reading new books, taking parenting classes, trying to keep one step ahead of the game. I shared what worked in our house with all my friends. Every week or so someone would say, "YOU should write a book."

This idea never interested me, I didn't have time for that! We were in survival mode! But, now I can look back, and try to remember some of those things that really made my life easier. And, pass those tips on to you!