"Helpful Hafners"

If you are tired of trying to modify your children's behavior by punishing, or removing of privileges, or time outs, or whatever, it is time to try something new.

This has been serving the Hafners well for a couple years, though we forget about it from time to time. We call it "Helpful Hafners."

We have little tickets that we write details when someone does something outstanding. This is for "above and beyond." Usually includes spontaneous kindness, or resolution of a problem, or something of that nature that parents want to see more of in their kids.

Tony made cute little tickets for us that say "{blank} helped {blank} by {blank}" and when we have 10 Helpful Hafners we go out for ice cream, and bring the tickets with us. While we are having our treat, each kid reads 2 of the notes. I bet the other customers enjoy the show.

What I really like is when a child does something nice, and then gets recognized by writing it down. For a child, there is some satisfaction in getting something on paper. Also, they get reminded of their good deed weeks later. All in all, a very positive way to go.

And, this was a pretty easy system, which is probably why it worked. Totally up to the judgement of parents what deserved to be a "Helpful Hafner."